I Love The Ocean 'Cause Only There Do My Fears Seem Small

MY BAD: First off, play the video at the bottom and then read this. It'll make it seem really dramatic. It's been a really long time. But first off: JOSH GOT INTO SFCM! So stoked. I told him from day 1 he had what it took and he did. We're going to get a house in the Sunset(and live happily ever after?) district and I think that will make us both 10x better guitar players. The Sunset is like a beach town a good 20-30 minutes from downtown SF. I've been there often for parties and when I go to the beach and it's beautiful. School has been pretty easy. I feel like I'm finally in a groove as far as doing my work/practicing goes. Believe it or not, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm pretty decent at guitar! I've upped my technique practice a lot and I think it's really showing. I recently picked up La Valentina by Ponce which is just...nice. It's nice to not play a piece that's going a million miles an hour and super stressful. I've also picked up Mudarra's Fantasia! Ha! It's one of the few renaissance pieces I can get into. I just can't dig the renaissance like some people can. I was given a somewhat challenging Pavane by Dowland at the beginning of the year and I've yet to learn more than the first 3 notes. Why? Because it just doesn't click with me. My Turina has really come a long way. I've played it for many, many guitar players and they all seem to like it. I want to audition it for Manuel Barrueco who is arguably my favorite guitarist. But I'm a bit unsure if I should. I've also been somewhat busy with the quartet I'm playing in. We're playing a Domeniconi piece which is pretty cheesy. I'm not fond of this schools guitar ensemble program. This is two semesters where I feel like I'm wasting my time. The first semester being put in a quartet because the large group was filled with masters students was ok by me. I had no problem with that because they are all fantastic players. But I think we should have some sort of system where we pick who we work with rather than David just assigning us. You don't really get much out of that because there's no motivation. We don't even really get to pick our pieces. This second semester, everyone was placed in the large group but I had a part where I only played a few 3rds in ONLY the 2nd of 3 movements. So that combined with a bad attitude quartet makes me wonder why I'm taking the class at all and if I should in the future. I already have all my ensemble credits so I can be done. I'm really stoked for Josh to come up next year. We plan on doing a duet and hopefully doing a competition or two.

CONCERTS: I've been going to my school's concert's a lot more. It's so nice to see your classmates just go nuts on their instruments. I saw the SFCM orchestra play Beethoven's 6 which was just...well...ok? Didn't really get to me. Then I saw a Cello/composition major have his graduate recital. Solo cello doesn't do it for me like I thought it would either. But he did compose a string quartet that sounded like Radiohead which was actually pretty awesome. He had a dancer from the dance conservatory dance(I just said dance in 3 out of 6 words) through out the piece which was added a really nice effect. It may sound a little odd on the surface, but if the composition is right, and the dancer is right, it's a really great experience to lose yourself in the art being shown to you. So I was pretty pleased with that concert. Back in late January I saw the absolute best guitar concert I have EVER seen. Pavel Steidl is hands down one of the best guitarist on the planet today. Youtube him! You'll notice his EXTREME facial expressions. To me, his facial expressions is the guitar talking to us. It's like Pavel isn't there anymore. It's like his guitar has it's own identity and personality and is just speaking to everyone through Pavel's playing. Never have I seen a guitar player use so much color. Never have I seen a guitar player with the left hand ability of Pavel. It was absolutely mind blowing. BUT(and this is a kind of disappointing but) his Bach Chacconne wasn't very good. He played it flawlessly but it just didn't seem to fit his playing. His best work was from the classical and romantic era. I met him after the concert and me and a few other guitarist talked with him. Great guy. I knew right when I walked out those doors that it was the best guitar performance I'd ever seen. As I had mentioned, I've been going to most all the school's performances. I went to the see the school symphony play Tchaik 6 and it just blew my head away. The concert hall was fully packed of people which is always an amazing site and the orchestra played out of their minds. Then after they played, a pianist at our school played Ravel's concerto for the left hand. You know why she's playing it? Because last year, 1 MONTH BEFORE THE CONCERTO COMPETITION, she broke her right hand and said fuck it! I'm just going to learn this concerto for left hand(extremely difficult) in 1 month. And she did. And she won. So it an amazing thing to see. I teared up at LEAST 5 times to how beautiful it all was. I also went to watch the violin concerto competition and the cello concerto competition which were both outstanding.


PUNK MUSIC/SHOWS: It was my best friends birthday and I was feeling like a jack ass for not being able to be there for it. But thankfully A Wilhelm Scream and Heartsounds were playing. Alfredo picked me up and we headed to what's probably my favorite venue ever, Thee Parkside. Heartsounds played much better than the last time I saw them. FUCK! SPEAKING OF HEARTSOUNDS! They signed to Epitaph!! After only about 8 shows together. It's shit like that that makes me really want to be in a punk band. Not that they "made it" and are just swimming in money or anything. But I'd love to be on Epitaph. Who wouldn't? Anyway, this was AWS's set:

Morrisey
Walden
Our Ghosts
Australias
Die While We're Young
Stab Stab Stab
Fun Time
We Built This City On D's and B's
Cancer Dream
Jaws 3 People 0
The Kids Can Eat A Bag of Dicks
William Blake Overdrive
The Soft sell
Famous Friends
Skid Rock
Killing It
Showbiz/5 to 9
The King Is Dead
Congratulations
DREAMING OF THROWING UP
The Rip

I KNOW! Unreal. The longest set they have ever played and they played just about every classic. The crowd was nuts. Although there was this one girl who was pissed that she was standing up front and people were getting pissed at people who were hitting her. It's a pit! That's what happens. It was an amazing set that I just lost myself in and as mentioned on here before, there's nothing greater than being at a punk show. My music rotation has been fantastic lately. I just got out of a Nothington/Get Up Kids/Half Hearted Hero phase and have now moved on to a Menzingers/The Riot Before/Gaslight Anthem/Older Nothington phase and it amazing as well. Smoke Or Fire comes out with a new album soon and We Are The Union just came out with one(waiting to listen to for the summer) so these first 6 months of 2010 have been great for punk music. I just wish I liked Against Me or Alkaline Trio enough to be stoked about their new albums.


ELECTRIC GUITAR: I finally started on the electric guitar journey just a few days ago. I borrowed my friends stratocaster and have been playing it pretty often ever since. It's so weird to just jump into this instrument again. The options feel endless. I want to do jazz, blues, rock, country, EVERYTHING. I just want to be good at everything. A friend of mine lent me 3 jazz books: One for chords and voice leading, one for improvisation skills, and one for scales/modes/patterns. Then I also have a jazz book that my ex girlfriend gave me my senior year of high school. I also brought up the Stevie Ray Vaughn book my older brother got me the same year and then an instructional book on blues that has been at my house forever. I think it's kind of funny how this whole guitar playing life has been going. When I was 14, if you had told me I would be playing Bach Violin Sonata's at 17, I'd call you crazy, and when I was 18, if you had told me I would be burning CD's of Brad Paisley and trying to learn every style of guitar and had hopes to go to Berklee or Musicians Institue, I would have probably never talked to you again. And I'm sure in another 3 years, I'll be doing something or have some outrageous plan that I never thought I would. In getting back to everything, I've been debating a lot on how to approach getting better. "Do I practice technique? Do I do nothing but scales now and then maybe in a month or two try to get into the different styles? Do I already have enough technique? Is it not even about technique? Maybe it's just about style now. How in the hell am I going to learn the fret board?" So while I'm still not completely sure what to do, I've started learning scales and the fret board because there's never really a time where that's not appropriate no matter what kind of style you're playing. I really want to work my ass off in the summer. No more Call of Duty 5 hours a day with friends haha. I want to find a place where I can just go and do nothing but practice. My house is way too distracting and Del Mar would start to get expensive if I drove there every day. I want to wake up by 10 every morning except when I have extra fun the night before which is actually pretty much every night which could be an issue. But who cares? I have a lot of life to live where I'll be sleeping a lot. Maybe I should just build a room. While I know Berklee will accept me, I want to get unbelievable good at everything. Berklee sometimes gets a bad reputation. They accept an enormous amount of guitarist so you get a whole bunch of different attitudes. A lot of people drop out. Some guitar players may not even be that good at all. But when you have over a thousand guitarist, of course they're not all going to be amazing. For this kind of school, I think it's completely on you whether you make it worth it or not. I know I won't get the attention that I do here at SFCM, but I'm ok with that. I want to go there to become a professional and be around the networking. I plan on getting a performance certificate from there and then deciding on what I want to get my masters in or if I even want to get a masters. This is all what I want to do right now though. Things could change in the following 2 years.

LIFE: My life has been fantastic. I went home from spring break which was a fantastic time all around. I went to a bar called Fire On Water and had an amazing time but it ended really horribly which sucked since it was my last night in Corpus. Drove to Austin and College Station and had good times. I really missed driving. Being back here has been pretty good. I've been all over San Francisco the past couple months and am kicking myself that I didn't explore travel more last semester. I love this city so much. Just hanging out at parks is one of the most fun things you can do and all you're doing is sitting! But when the weather is perfect like it is 4 days out of the week and you have a beautiful view of the entire downtown, you don't need to do much more than just kick back and relax. This past Tuesday, I went to the beach by myself, drank a few beers, listened to Explosions In The Sky, and just relaxed. It was an awesome feeling because I had so much to do and just didn't care for that one particular day. Teeya showed up later. But don't worry, I obviously still got my work done on time and practiced a decent amount. I think everyone deserves a day like that. Where they tune out everything that they "have" to do and don't talk to anyone they "have" to talk to. I feel like me and a lot of other kids at my school and probably most young adults that are trying to achieve something become slaves of their craft(which is great! and the only way to succeed at something you really want!) and we sometimes forget to live a little. And living a little isn't just going out once on the weekend. That's to be expected! I know the weekdays are meant for school work and practicing, but maybe once every other week, go out and DO something on a Monday or Wednesday. I live in fucking San Francisco, California! I am 20 years old. I am youthful and youth is something that only comes around once. So everything about the experience felt very liberating. It was such a great time that I think I'm going to do it again this Tuesday and the Tuesday after that and the Tuesday after that and so on and so on. So if you're in SF, take the N to the last stop and go down the beach about half mile and you'll see me laying down with some beer and headphones. In other news, I'm officially out of the somewhat relationship I had. It was something in between friends with benefits and an actual relationship. Pretty much a relationship cause I do like the girl. We essentially(complicated story) mutually ended it because summer is coming. But it was a fantastic time and I'm glad we're still good friends. But why does it always have to happen in April? Fuck! That's 3 relationships that end in April. I can't guarantee when the next time I'll post on here will be. Actually I can guarantee you that it will be once I'm back in Corpus. So that's about a month and couple days away. Get stoked. But yeah, life has just been great. I've been in the heart of downtown a lot more. Last night me and a few people just walked to Pier 1 and drank. We also strolled through this extremely classy hotel where there were tons of older drunk people having the time of their lives. We plan on going back there next weekend dressed up so we can maybe crash a party. Cheesy? A little bit, but it's worth a shot and it's better than staying home. I work well with being really fake and over enthusiastic with adults(I get it from my older brother, Roy). Then the following day I will be attending a CD release party for the Death To False Hope Records band, The Sweet Revenge. 3 story house, BBQ, beer, live punk bands playing outside on the patio. It will be a fantastic time.

Sorry for the odd picture placement. It's hard to use when you upload them from photobucket. Anyway, this is what I was listening to at the beach. Enjoy!



Explosions In The Sky-Greet Death

You Showed Me Life and Lived Nothing Less. 'Cause You're So Above Me

I update this less and less with each passing month. But that's because I'm a very busy person. That's not entirely true. But maybe that makes it seem like my whole music career is that much more intense. What's happened since the last update? I experienced the best party of my life with the friends I love the most in a condo for new years, didn't practice a damn thing, got lots of Whataburger, listened to great music, and just had a great time being back home. 2010 has treated me quite well so far. This year I plan on living life a little bit more. The first few months of 2009 I was kind of a downer on some days and was hesitant to go out and do things. Then once I got here in SF, I kind of stressed about my school work and practice. Music started to turn into a job for me. I plan on not letting things get to me as much. To be even more outgoing. Maybe it's because the Cowboys lost and I feel like I have nothing to lose, but I'm down to anything at anytime. Party in Oakland? Bus up to Oregon? Bus down to San Diego or LA? I'm down. I need to live life to the absolute fullest and that's what I want to remember 2010 as: the year I lived like I had never lived before. 10/10 on the cheesy scale, I know. But it is what it is.

The past couple months I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life. Obviously music, but what path of music do I want to take? Well I'm at a music conservatory so obviously my options are: perform or teach. Well it clicked to me...I don't really want to do that. Teaching doesn't really appeal to me and yeah, I do want to perform but not for my whole life. You know what I want to do? More than anything in the world? Be in a band. Be in a touring band. I thought this feeling was just a phase but it's stuck and I can't seem to shake it. I don't want to shake it. This is what I want to do as of right now. I've been looking at Musicians Institute in LA and Berklee in Boston. Why those schools? Well they are contemporary schools of music as opposed to the classical school of music I attend. If there was a school for developing the next artist you fall in love with on MTV, these are the schools. Obviously that's not exactly what I'm aiming for, but you get the idea. I'm considering going to these schools so I can be around the right people whether it's the networking or musicians, or the scene. I want to be there. I still love classical music, playing classical guitar and practicing, but this is just how I feel. But I wouldn't be getting a masters degree from these places. Probably just a performance certificate. I said to people a long time ago that all I wanted in my life was to be the absolute best guitar player I could possibly be, and I think I'm starting to see what else I need to do to achieve that goal. I want to be fluent in all styles. Berklee and Musicians Institute would help me with that. I don't even care if it's not a punk band. I'm down to be in a Get Up Kids/Smoking Popes/Bad Astronaut type of band too. Hell, even if I can turn into a studio musician, or a guy that plays guitar for some famous person, I'd be so fucking down. I just want to be in a touring band so bad. But here's a counter feeling. First off, I live in San Francisco. A GREAT music scene. Why not start now? Which is something I've already started working on with Craigs list. And I plan on recording a demo with friends over the summer. But mainly, I've been debating if I should still go to Peabody(another classical music conservatory where Manuel Barrueco teachers) in Baltimore, or New England Conservatory(another classical music conservatory where Elliot Fisk teachers) in Boston, or USC in LA or stay at SFCM(in case anything I have going here gets legit) as planned, and try to make it on my own with out the schools. All of them are great music scenes. So why not continue to be secure with degrees in classical guitar while still trying to do what I REALLY want to do? I don't know. Lots of questions in the air right now. I just want to see where I'm at in 3 years.

School has started up again. It's looking to be a pretty easy semester. Especially since I don't have my old musicianship/theory teacher. So I'm taking musicianship, theory, western civilization, guitar performance, guitar ensemble, guitar lessons, modern guitar lit, and guitar arrangement. Modern guitar lit was fantastic because we learned so much about Segovia and while yeah, I always knew he was essentially the hero of classical guitar and a mega douche bag, I didn't know all the details and what he did is truly amazing. Then in guitar arrangement we got an assingment to arrange the famous piano(but mainly known for being played on guitar) piece by Albeniz, "Leyenda" into another key. I picked d minor. Should probably get started on that. Rufio came out with a couple new songs?! What?! I thought they'd be broken up for good. I wrote about them a while back. They were my 100% favorite band when I was 13 and 14. Oh...those were the days. Juggling around with girls and listening to these heartbreaking, deep, well thought out lyrics that I just related with so well.

Rufio-One Slowdance

We don't have to talk,
We don't have to laugh at all
I just want to be
You and me

You and me dancing the night away
You can feel my heart beating so hard
We look eye to eye
And im swept away.
On a moonlit walk on the beach
Watching the sunrise for the first time
I'm in a trance
From that one slowdance.

This Year I'll Try Not To Think Too Much. This Year I'll Stand Up For Myself. This Year I'll Live Like I've Never Lived Before

Being home has been fantastic. I've hung out with friends pretty much every night and have been making the best of my time here. Being home is weird in ways. So many memories. So many "Oh that's where" "Oh hey!" "I remember that!" kind of moments while I'm cruising around. But anyway. None of that is important. What is important is that this year is coming to an end that calls for an end of the year list so here we go. I will only discuss the albums released this year though. This post started on the 25th but I didn't finish it until today, the 30th.

TOP 5 EP's OF 2009

5. Straighten Things Out-I Think We Better Split Up

I've been a big fanboy of these guys since I got into them the summer before my senior year of high school. Their song "My Daily Wreck" ruled my Summer of 06. What was great about this EP is that I didn't get sick of it because, well...it was only 5 songs. Their previous effort was 10+ songs of super fast skate punk and while yes, I LOVE that, they didn't change up song structure enough to keep me interested. This EP gives you a slow, mid-paced, and of course, fast melodic skate punk.

Favorite song: Call This Song As You Wish

4. Transit-Stay Home

While yes, I did enjoy Mutiny! by Set Your Goals, I never really took it seriously. This whole super positive pop punk/hardcore seems to be making a little push these days and I really can't think of a band doing it better than Transit. I had only heard 1 or 2 songs by Transit prior to listening to this and this EP is a great representation of their sound and what is to come of the band. I couldn't be more excited for the full length.

Favorite Song: Stay Home

3. The Lawrence Arms-Butt Sweat and Tears

The Lawrence Arms have been around for a long time and I've for some reason neglected them. I had a couple of their albums in mid/late high school but seemed to be turned off by the vocals. That's youth? Well I listened to The Greatest Story Ever Told in August/Septemeber and it went down as one of my all time favorite albums SO as a result of that, I was heavily anticipating their EP. It seems to pick up right where it left off with TGET. From what I've heard, The Lawrence Arms have this great way of structuring their work. It's like everything comes full circle in the end. In a way, even though it's only 5 songs, you feel so completely satisfied and complete with the EP because with just the 5 songs they put out, you feel like you listened to a full length.

Favorite Song: Them Angels Be Talkin'

2. Menzingers-Hold On Dodge

People on the Org went fucking nuts when this came out back in June. I was stuck in a big Descendents phase and had no more room in my rotation so I didn't end up getting this until a month ago. Incredible. Very fun, anthemic, pop punk with some gruff vocals. Not that any of the other bands listed don't describe this, but listening to the Menzingers is what kind of defines my love of punk rock. Sing along hooks, passionate vocals, and simple melodies that stay stuck in your head for weeks. I can't wait till I'm arm and arm with a complete stranger screaming my lungs out to Sunday Morning or Kentucky Gentlemen.

Favorite Song: Sunday Morning

1. A Wilhelm Scream-A Wilhelm Scream

It's not every day where you hear something so good that it makes you...angry. A Wilhelm Scream has made an impact on my life that's hard for even ME to fully comprehend. From start to finish, this EP absolutely rips. Fun Time is one of my particular favorites on the EP. Why? Well with Career Suicide being nothing but a "lets make this as fast as possible" album, we lost that 1 maybe 2 slow songs that they would throw onto their albums. Fun Time is no life changing song, but it's got a chorus that will have you singing for days. Even with the addition of Mike Suppina's shredding skills, Trevor is still very present with his melodic tapping in most of the EP. Bri is defying the laws of punk rock bass players once again, Nuno's vocals are as good as they've ever been, and the drummer(who seems to go un noticed for as amazing as he is) sounds better than he ever has.

Favorite Song: Skid Rock


TOP 5 FULL LENGTHS OF 2009

5. David Bazan-Curse Your Branches
My love for Pedro the Lion and David Bazan has been expressed many times on this blog. His story telling lyrics and great vocal range made me fall in love with him once again. While I don't particularly like the happier songs, the flow of the album can not be denied. Possibly the best part of it is how it ends with such a chilling vibe. It leaves you with your breath still held and I think it's the little things like that that make albums art.

Favorite Song: Curse Your Branches

4. Heartsounds-Until We Surrender

Yet another band that I took time to thoroughly discuss on this blog some time ago. Heartsounds came about earlier this year and got nothing but great responses. It seemed like they were just a huge sigh of relief with all the folk punk singers or org core bands coming out non stop. Very melodic skate punk with awesome guy/girl duo vocals. I think after first listen you might say that all the songs sounds the same, but if given time, you can see that each song has it's own identity. They have a great way of switching up tempos and spreading out the vocals well and had this come out earlier this decade, I'm sure it would be looked at as one of the classic skate punk albums of the era.

Favorite Song: Slave To A Heart That Strays

3. Strike Anywhere-Iront Front

Strike Anywhere is my best friends 2nd or 3rd favorite band so it's always been kind of HIS band that I've just casually listened to. I've really enjoyed some of their songs in the past, but never got too into any of their full lengths. Well finally, they have won me over with Iron Front. My thought on their albums were much the same of my thoughts on Good Riddance albums. Good songs, not so good album. I felt that this release was just so in your face that it forced you to pay attention to listen to each and every single song. Funny thing is that I know of a few Strike Anywhere fans that completely disagree with me. To each their own, right?

Favorite Song: I'm Your Opposite Number

2. Thrice-Beggars

It's hard to start with how long and deep my relationship with Thrice has been. Not once have they released the same album and not once has it been a bad change. But I believe of all the changes, this was the most drastic. The guitars sound so raw and a lot less slick than anything they've done before. Songs seem to be more bass dependent rather than guitar. Dustins voice needs no explanation. He's been hitting any note he desired for a long time now. I told myself when it leaked in July that I would hold out till October to listen to it so I would get the classic "Thrice in the fall" effect and that's exactly what I got. The album flows beautifully and has about a handful of songs that I could understand anyone to label their favorite song.

Favorite Song: Circles

1. Propagandhi-Supporting Caste

While I've never been a huge fan, Propagandhi is and has been one of the most important bands in punk rock since the 90's. My history with them is a lot like Strike Anywhere except I never really got a chance to thoroughly listen to their albums. So when I heard they were coming out with a new album, I was just interested rather than out of my mind excited. Well after seeing the org and my friends rave like I've never seen rave about an album, I knew I had to listen to it. I can personally guarantee you that the first two songs of this album will have your jaw dropped the entire time. My jaw was dropped for a number of reasons. Some of it was the low tuned, thrashy, melodic guitars. Some of it was Todd and Chris harmonizing together. But I think what made my jaw drop so much was the fact that the last album of Propagandhi I had listened to was Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes. The difference between the two albums are significantly different and I just didn't see the intensity of Night Letters and Supporting Caste coming at me. They're so pissed! The intensity. The seriousness! Of all the albums I listened to this semester, this was the one that stayed in my rotation the longest. I knew when I listened to it that it would easily be the best thing released this year and I was correct. Nearly every song on the album is just mind blowing and I don't care if fucking Maroon 5 is your favorite band, you need to give this a listen. One of the great things about legendary bands like Propagandhi releasing new work is that you know fans all over the world will be listening to it at the same time as you. And knowing that I got to enjoy this classic along with the millions of their fans all over the world is pretty amazing.

Favorite Song: Potemkin City Limits


TOP 10 FULL LENGTHS THAT I JUST LISTENED TO THIS YEAR

1. The Descendents-I Don't Want To Grow Up
2. The Lawrence Arms-The Greatest Story Ever Told
3. Joey Cape-Home
4. The Descendents-Everything Sucks
5. Alkaline Trio-God Dammit
6. The Descendents-Cool To Be You
7. Hot Water Music-Caution
8. Broadway Calls-Broadway Calls
9. The Descendents-Milo Goes To College
10. Rehasher-Off Key Melodies

TOP 15 SONGS RELEASED THIS YEAR

1. Hit The Switch-The Everfading Afterglow
2. The Menzingers-Sunday Morning
3. Thrice-Circles
4. Propagandhi-Potemkin City Limits
4a. A Wilhelm Scream-Skid Rock
5. Thrice-In Exile
6. Polar Bear Club-One Hit Back
7. Heartsounds-Slave To A Heart That Strays
8. Heartsounds-Our Last Hope
9. Hit The Switch-Last Light
10. Thrice-Beggars
11. Propagandhi-Supporting Caste
12. Propagandhi-Night Letters
13. A Wilhelm Scream-Fun Time
14. Strike Anywhere-I'm Your Opposite Number
15. Transit-Stay Home

TOP 15 SONGS RELEASED NOT THIS YEAR:

1. Smoking Popes-Megan
2. The Lawrence Arms-The Ramblin Boys Of Pleasure
3. Descendents-In Love This Way
4. Hot Water Music-You Can Take The Boy Out Of Bradenton
5. Hot Water Music-Wayfarer
6. Joey Cape-Who We've Become
7. Descendents-Silly Girll
8. Smoke Or Fire-Culture As Given
9. The Lawrence Arms-The Revisionist
10. The Lawrence Arms-On With The Show
11. Alkaline Trio-Cringe
12. Rehasher-Sinking
13. Descendents-Suburban Home
14. Descendents-Sick Of Me
15. Broadway Calls-Bad Intentions

This was tough. Most of the list could easily change after #2 or #3. I left out a lot of Strike Anywhere, Propagandhi, Swellers, Lawrences Arms, Broadway Calls. I feel like this list makes it seem as if I don't care about such songs as San Francisco or Back To Oregon, or Chapter 13 etc etc.

Band/Album of the year goes to...



The Descendents-I Don't Want To Grow Up

Christmas 08 was some up and down times for me. I was getting over a disaster of a relationship and stressing about auditioning to schools. But on Christmas, my older brother Roy decided to get me "Everything Sucks" by the Descendents. When I opened it the gift, I just kind of laughed to myself and thought, "Really? Everything Sucks? Thank you for reminding me, life." Everything Sucks is considered to be one of the most important albums of the 90's and I could completely understand why. It's incredible. I had always known the Descendents were a huge influence on the 90's(even still today) but I had never taken the time to listen to them. Seems to be an on-going problem with me, huh? After falling completely in love with Everything Sucks, I knew that I had to explore more of their music. It was around early summer when I got I Don't Want To Grow Up. At first listen, I struggled to enjoy it due to the poor quality. But once I got past it, I saw what all the hype was about. This album is filled with instant classics that will never be forgotten in punk rock. The poor quality of recording makes the emotion of this album come out just so much more. The A side is filled with tons of immature/frustrated songs while the B side is filled with tons of heart breaking love songs and comes off just...amazing. I'm actually finding it quite difficult to explain. You just really need to listen to it. Along with I Don't Want To Grow Up, I listened to Milo Goes To College and Cool To Be You. Leaving just about 2 more of their albums I need to listen to. So obviously, they were in my rotation most of the year. The Descendents are now one of my all time favorite bands and have had an extremely huge impact on my life. They are one of the most legendary bands of all time for punk music and I Don't Want To Grow Up is one of the albums that I think will be looked at as one of the most important albums in all of punk rock.

Favorite Song: In Love This Way, Silly Girl


So with that all that said, it's time to say goodbye to 2009. The first seconds of 2009 was me taking shots with all my best friends and right after, I remember saying to my friends that this year would be different and that there would be some major changes for me. It's been the best year of my life. This picture is actually a pretty sweet representation of how I lived life through 2009 because it kind of looks like there SHOULD be someone to the left of me because there's so much space. But that's what makes it great. I didn't need anybody. I didn't have anyone holding me down anymore. I lived my life how I wanted. From getting over a girl, auditioning/partying in Austin/College Station/Houston, sneaking into Texas Stadium with Julia and running around the most legendary football field of all time, flying to Baltimore, Providence and New York City to audition, getting into 3/4 schools I auditioned to, getting 1st place in the ensemble competition in Brownsville and the intense practices that came along with it, essentially saying "fuck you" to Mr. Hii, playing guitar at the open mic at Starbucks, going up to Austin just to party, the shows I got to see, the albums that were released, partying with Andy and that whole crowd non stop, really just the massive massive massive massive increase in partying was a great time. Then the summer was great with the parties(getting old. I know), filming the short movie, playing the cover show, hanging out with different girls(hadn't done it in years). Finally saying goodbye to Corpus was weird but I completely embraced it. My times in San Francisco are times that can't be replaced. Living on my own, the PARTIES, the new crowd of great friends I made, Teeya, going to a music conservatory, finally being around people that are as passionate about music as me. Then coming back home to an awesome number of loving friends and family was fantastic. It was hard to be upset in 2009. Really, my biggest problem was trying to find a way to get a certain girl to stop wanting to hang out with me. THAT'S IT. I will be spending my last moments of 2009 with the friends that I've loved for so long and it will be absolutely beautiful to once again, for the I don't know how many years it's been now, to bring in the new year with all them. It's going to be hard to top 2009, but I will approach it with the highest hopes that I can top it. So thank you to everyone helped this be the best year of my life. Even if you had no idea you were doing it for me.

-Raziel

I See Skies Of Blue. Clouds Of White. Bright Blessed Days. Dark Sacred Nights.

It was around the end of November when I was at a party with friends and we were talking about how excited we were that we'd be home the very next month. But what I realized after that in order to get to December 16th, you have to go through December 1st-15th first. My face was very similar to this guys face. Finals means studying, copying, asking people for answers who you don't really like, and just praying that you pass your finals. Finals were really rough and it was just such a pain having to study for everything. Which leads to what I say next. I did straight up BAD in school compared to what I used to be doing. And on top of that, I felt like I had a very weak semester when it comes to guitar playing. One of the big issues has been practice. I'm still practicing but they aren't as focused practices as when I was getting ready for all my auditions. I live so close that it's way too easy to "just practice at home" which never ends up happening. So bad semester education wise and bad semester guitar wise. It's not that anything was particularly hard, I was just being lazy and it definitely caught up with me. But ya know? I'm really glad this all happened. It's a really nice wake up call and while yeah, i'd doubt myself too if I were you, I know that I can get at least a 3.8 GPA. None of the classes I'm taking are too hard and now that I've kind of grown up a little bit, I think it's very possible.

So I have this kind of, sort of, not really, completely really, almost, i'm not too sure, half-girlfriend these days. She's pretty awesome, super relaxed, and kinda looks like Meg Ryan. She knows me pretty well so she was searching through her ipod to find something we both will enjoy waking up to in the morning. Obviously she had trouble with this. Well the last thing she said to me that night was how I'm going to love what we wake up to. Eyes shut. Eyes open right at 8am because one of the most classic songs came on, "What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. Imagine being as happy as I am these days, knowing you were going to be home soon, waking up next to a good looking female, being able to see that the SF weather is chilly and rainy, and hearing that song come on. If there is a heavan, it would always start with that. I don't know if it had to do with that, but I had the absolute best performance later in that day. It was for my evaluations and that's where all the guitar faculty "evaluates" your playing. Not once this semester have I put together a performance I enjoyed except for that one. So maybe fun time and Louis Armstrong is what I need before every performance? I haven't done it quite yet, but I'm going to pick up meditation and maybe a bit of buddhism. I'm far too cynical about my playing and it consistently brings my playing down. So hopefully all this will give me a clear head.

I leave to Corpus Christi tomorrow. It will be glorious to be with old friends and family again, drive around the city cutting people off left and right, HEB, whataburger, the beach, BBQ, cheap beer prices, Cowboys games. I'm so fucking excited. But I will miss San Francisco. I'll miss the sounds of the city, music school, the weather, the hobos, the bus rides, all my friends who I saw all day every day. But it's what I need.

The Copyrights-Kids Of The Black Hole

some say it's a black hole
but this town is a place we call home
some says it's a black hole
but they'll never know

I Love The Night, Flying Over These City Lights

Happy black Friday everyone. I still don't see how you could eat so much the night before and get up super early in the morning to shop. Shopping is already the most annoying thing to do on the planet but then to have to do it in the morning? No thanks. I've done it once and it was a god awful experience. No discount is better than me sleeping. The fact it gets completely dark by 5:30pm is pretty depressing. I hate fixed do. It's a lot more challenging than I anticipated and it's been really screwing with me. But time is key. I made a decision the other day that I simply can not do the Brouwer Sonata next semester. The piece is so beastly and to have to learn it, perfect it, and understand that music within a semester is simply asking too much of me. So I'm pushing it back to the summer and am going to learn Brouwers arrangement of La Muerte Del Angel by Astor Piazzolla like I had originally planned. I don't see it as being a wuss or anything. I have tons of challenging pieces that aren't even close to being perfected. So I can't just go nuts learning super hard pieces. I'm no superman...

So with money being tight, I was in a heavy debate whether or not I should see Thrice and Polar Bear Club for $20. After looking at how much money I have spent/have left and talking to my mommy about it, I decided it was ok, financially, to go. It was at the Regency Ballroom which is a HUGE venue. I pay for my ticket and can already here Polar Bear Club playing. All I can think is "I'm gunna run through those doors and just run for the pit." And so I get my ticket, burst through the double doors, and immediately stop in my tracks. A) because the venue was fucking huge and B) because it was like I walked into a room full of zombies. NO ONE was moving. I made my way up close and pissed off a bunch of people in the process. I don't get why people get pissy if they are just standing around. I saw so many guys right behind their girlfriends getting pissed if anyone came near them which is probably my biggest pet peeve at shows. If your clingy girlfriend can't hack getting hit at shows, then don't bring her. No one was moving. I heard comments like "ugh, this sucks. It's so loud." It was kind of a reminder of how not really popular Polar Bear Club is and how not only fans of punk rock enjoy Thrice. The next band, Dear Hunter came on and my jaw dropped because of how bad they were. I looked around and people were actually enjoying it. I looked up to the upper deck on the venue and people were SITTING. Fucking mothers and fathers were sitting/waiting for the show to end cause they had kids attending. I heard comments like "DUDE THIS IS SO EPIC" "MAN THEY ARE AMAZING!" I hated the feeling. I have never felt so out of place. Thrice was setting up and I heard so many "I'm guna yell Deadbolt!" "DUDE WHAT IF THEY PLAY T&C?!" "What's that album before artist??" comments that made me want to throw up. Really, San Francisco? Are you kids really this lame at shows?

This was the first time seeing Thrice alone. So I had no one to talk to about how stoked I was which was kinda shitty. But fuck, once they got on stage my heart started racing with excitement. Teppei wasn't there though. Which was a true disappointment because he is the heart of the band. But the guitarist from Dear Hunter filled in well. The set was going so smoothly. A very nice mix of Artist, Vheissu, Alchemy and Beggars. Of course, they played Deadbolt and the crowd went fucking nuts. The pits were outstanding. I got tossed around like a rag doll just as I usually do. Being in a pit is such an intense experience. Everything moves so fast. In the matter of 3 seconds, you get hit in from so many different angles. They got to their slower part of the set and I saw this couple singing Beggars, the song, to each other. I mean, I hate to sound like a wuss or something, but I WANT THAT SO BAD. I want to have a girlfriend I can sing my favorite songs with too! That would rule! But then that would involve getting a girlfriend and that wouldn't rule. So Beggars is playing and of course I'm super into it. I was super stoked they were playing it because it's such a great song. I'm obviously loving it as they are playing, but when they got to the outro, I think my life changed. And I know if my brother Randy is reading this, he'll say I'm stupid for loving a band this much, but I take music into such high regard. Anyway, in the album version, it's just an isntrumental outro. But live, Dustin was screaming his lungs out and it just floored me. I was in shock as to what I was witnessing. It was hands down the most intense experience I've ever had while being at a show. Nearly brought me to tears. No words can describe as lame as that sounds. But wow, I was just absolutely mind blown. The rest of the show after that was almost pointless because there was no way they'd top Beggars. Again, I'm not over-exaggerating, but that was one of the most intense/emotional/SPIRITUAL experience I've have EVER had at a show. The song went like this

Thrice-Beggars

Tell me what can you claim? Not a thing - not your name!
Tell me if you can recall just one thing,
That’s not a gift in this life?

Stand Up and Be Counted If You Can't Live Without It

You ever see a picture that just completely defines your year? And then naturally, you think about the song that just ruled your year? Sure, I'm in the middle of shooting for a film festival, but at the time of this picture, I was running on essentially no sleep for two days yet I was still able to just lean back, smile, and enjoy life. Something I never really got to do in 2008. Being a happy person rules.



It’s all in me but I can’t get the right words out,
Been trying to so long that I forgot what I believe,
The longer I go without it the more it brings me down,
The feeling that I’ve lost all that I’m made of,
What if I can’t get it back?
From deep inside and through your eyes it is incredible,
To feel it coming!
The dwelling doubt subsides and all is calm,
But still the pages long for more,
Tell me I don’t stand a chance in vein,
To believe all I’ve witnessed every killing breath,
Until we love ourselves,
Only then will this story be fit to tell,
Cause if in awe we cant portray its rightful meaning we will stay,
Of war and peace,
The light of one warm embrace,
Don’t let it become your worst enemy,
Go run and tell of what you’ve seen,
Believe it isn’t right,
Tell me it’s not for real,
Life as we made it…



And don't think I've forgotten. It was on the night of November 20th, 2004, that Kayla lost her life. I'll never forget sitting at my friend Arielle's birthday party with a bunch of friends when a girl in the grade below us broke the news. I still remember every minute as if it was yesterday. I had no idea what to do with myself. I was awarded her music scholarship my senior year of high school and would like to think I've honored it quite well thus far. I was never too into Thursday, but I know it was her favorite band. This is pretty much the only song I ever got into so I'll post it. God this song makes me miss high school so much.

Cold Happens All The Time lyrics

Thursday-War All The Time Video - Cold Happens All The Time Music Videos

Music Videos by VideoCure

Now your eyes are a sign on the edge of town
They offer a welcome, when you are leaving

R.I.P. Kayla.

Looking Back On Life, Does Your Past Still Keep You Up At Night?

In ways you could have predicted this post coming with the high level of bitching I do about my theory and musicianship teacher. Last week in class, I was giving my percussionist friend a hard time because he was struggling with sight reading rhythms. My friend Ari in front of me overheard and says, "Ya know, it's great to have Raz because he makes you want to do better cause you know if you don't he'll give you crap about it" out loud to the class. My teacher then responds in a light hearted way saying "Yeah well he's just a son of a bitch like that." Sarcastic words were exchanged between me and him. But after Friday, I knew that I wanted to email him and tell him 100% how I felt because while I don't want to like him, I knew I had to change my work ethic because I was missing class and hardly doing my work just to spite him(productive, huh?). Well Monday comes along and I have a note in my box saying I will be kicked out of class if I continue my attitude. So because I can't see him Tuesdays and I had my Unit Exam on Wednesday, I decided to email him. I expressed how I don't respect him as a teacher or person but that I would change my work ethic to get my grade up. That's youth?


Usually before I leave to school or out or just anywhere I put my ihome on shuffle so that when I get back, hopefully a really kick ass song will be playing and it'll make me happy. Today before I left school to go practice, I put it on shuffle and Yellowcard's "Starstruck" came on. DANG. 2003! It gave me such a huge rush of freshman year of high school. I was so heavily into pop punk back in those days. I still do listen to pop punk these days but it's a bit different then than it is now. Remember Much The Same? Such a solid melodic punk band that ruled my senior year of high school. Well they broke up that year actually and the drummer plus a member of Break The Silence and a member of Counterpunch formed a band called Unit 91. They just released an EP. By no means is it original but it just really clicks with me. I listened to a few songs back in summer of 2008 when I went to Colorado so there are some fantastic memories attatched to it. Wow what an amazing trip Colorado was. It reminds me so much of pop punk in the early 00's and I think the reason I like it so much may be because it makes me feel 13/14 years old again.

I just recently posted on how I was actually content with my guitar playing. That has completely gone to hell. There have been times this past week where I have serious doubts about myself. My doubts were so high that I've hardly been practicing. It's just frustrating to go into your lessons and get reminded(not verbally) on how undeveloped you are and just how...not good you really are. Larry has never said anything close to that but some of things he says just blow my mind and certain techniques are extremely hard. No one understands just how hard it is to excel in your instrument or just to comprehend music. Getting to that next level is such a mind fuck and you really just have no idea how to handle it except question yourself. Never have I been challenged like this. It's only been 3 months. It's hard to put into words just what exactly is going through my head. But more than ever, music IS my life. Today I decided to turn everything around and got in a really good amount of practice. In order to get a nice 5 hour practice session going, I switched practice locations around the school every hour. The best was the last one where I around 5:30pm when the sun was setting and I was sitting in the practice room facing the window. San Francisco has such great weather. Every day is 60's and every night is 50's. I bitch about wanting diversity but I know I'm going to miss it when I get back home to Texas.

I almost got jumped the other week when walking by myself. I had a insane adventure on Halloween night in the city of San Francisco. I was in a cab home with some friends talking the cab driver about football and once he found out I was from South Texas he swirved to the curb and told me to get the fuck out of his car. He said it with a straight face but then laughed and said he was joking. I've probably said this a few times, but nights out here are so much different than nights out in Corpus. You just NEVER know what's going to happen. God I'm so fucking glad I got out of that city. Love it, but couldn't stand another month in it. One of my really good girl friends moved to LA so hopefully she'll be here to visit soon. Living on my own has made me get tons of great ideas on how to save money and conserve food or dishes. I'm getting really good at ping pong. I drink an amazing amount of water these days. I also drink Budweiser and Pabst Blue Ribbon pretty much exclusively these days. While I have my mental struggles, life is just absolutely amazing and there's no school I'd rather be at. Didn't I mention something about a kick ass melodic punk band? Ok this is probably the most awkward video I post. I debated about posting it but it's the only one that has the album version of my favorite song off the album. Warning: CHEESY lyrics.


Much The Same-What I Know

And I hate the thought of who I am without you
And someday I'll learn to get by on my own
I became a better man around you
And that's one thing you should know
'Cause I know