I Love The Night, Flying Over These City Lights

Happy black Friday everyone. I still don't see how you could eat so much the night before and get up super early in the morning to shop. Shopping is already the most annoying thing to do on the planet but then to have to do it in the morning? No thanks. I've done it once and it was a god awful experience. No discount is better than me sleeping. The fact it gets completely dark by 5:30pm is pretty depressing. I hate fixed do. It's a lot more challenging than I anticipated and it's been really screwing with me. But time is key. I made a decision the other day that I simply can not do the Brouwer Sonata next semester. The piece is so beastly and to have to learn it, perfect it, and understand that music within a semester is simply asking too much of me. So I'm pushing it back to the summer and am going to learn Brouwers arrangement of La Muerte Del Angel by Astor Piazzolla like I had originally planned. I don't see it as being a wuss or anything. I have tons of challenging pieces that aren't even close to being perfected. So I can't just go nuts learning super hard pieces. I'm no superman...

So with money being tight, I was in a heavy debate whether or not I should see Thrice and Polar Bear Club for $20. After looking at how much money I have spent/have left and talking to my mommy about it, I decided it was ok, financially, to go. It was at the Regency Ballroom which is a HUGE venue. I pay for my ticket and can already here Polar Bear Club playing. All I can think is "I'm gunna run through those doors and just run for the pit." And so I get my ticket, burst through the double doors, and immediately stop in my tracks. A) because the venue was fucking huge and B) because it was like I walked into a room full of zombies. NO ONE was moving. I made my way up close and pissed off a bunch of people in the process. I don't get why people get pissy if they are just standing around. I saw so many guys right behind their girlfriends getting pissed if anyone came near them which is probably my biggest pet peeve at shows. If your clingy girlfriend can't hack getting hit at shows, then don't bring her. No one was moving. I heard comments like "ugh, this sucks. It's so loud." It was kind of a reminder of how not really popular Polar Bear Club is and how not only fans of punk rock enjoy Thrice. The next band, Dear Hunter came on and my jaw dropped because of how bad they were. I looked around and people were actually enjoying it. I looked up to the upper deck on the venue and people were SITTING. Fucking mothers and fathers were sitting/waiting for the show to end cause they had kids attending. I heard comments like "DUDE THIS IS SO EPIC" "MAN THEY ARE AMAZING!" I hated the feeling. I have never felt so out of place. Thrice was setting up and I heard so many "I'm guna yell Deadbolt!" "DUDE WHAT IF THEY PLAY T&C?!" "What's that album before artist??" comments that made me want to throw up. Really, San Francisco? Are you kids really this lame at shows?

This was the first time seeing Thrice alone. So I had no one to talk to about how stoked I was which was kinda shitty. But fuck, once they got on stage my heart started racing with excitement. Teppei wasn't there though. Which was a true disappointment because he is the heart of the band. But the guitarist from Dear Hunter filled in well. The set was going so smoothly. A very nice mix of Artist, Vheissu, Alchemy and Beggars. Of course, they played Deadbolt and the crowd went fucking nuts. The pits were outstanding. I got tossed around like a rag doll just as I usually do. Being in a pit is such an intense experience. Everything moves so fast. In the matter of 3 seconds, you get hit in from so many different angles. They got to their slower part of the set and I saw this couple singing Beggars, the song, to each other. I mean, I hate to sound like a wuss or something, but I WANT THAT SO BAD. I want to have a girlfriend I can sing my favorite songs with too! That would rule! But then that would involve getting a girlfriend and that wouldn't rule. So Beggars is playing and of course I'm super into it. I was super stoked they were playing it because it's such a great song. I'm obviously loving it as they are playing, but when they got to the outro, I think my life changed. And I know if my brother Randy is reading this, he'll say I'm stupid for loving a band this much, but I take music into such high regard. Anyway, in the album version, it's just an isntrumental outro. But live, Dustin was screaming his lungs out and it just floored me. I was in shock as to what I was witnessing. It was hands down the most intense experience I've ever had while being at a show. Nearly brought me to tears. No words can describe as lame as that sounds. But wow, I was just absolutely mind blown. The rest of the show after that was almost pointless because there was no way they'd top Beggars. Again, I'm not over-exaggerating, but that was one of the most intense/emotional/SPIRITUAL experience I've have EVER had at a show. The song went like this

Thrice-Beggars

Tell me what can you claim? Not a thing - not your name!
Tell me if you can recall just one thing,
That’s not a gift in this life?

Stand Up and Be Counted If You Can't Live Without It

You ever see a picture that just completely defines your year? And then naturally, you think about the song that just ruled your year? Sure, I'm in the middle of shooting for a film festival, but at the time of this picture, I was running on essentially no sleep for two days yet I was still able to just lean back, smile, and enjoy life. Something I never really got to do in 2008. Being a happy person rules.



It’s all in me but I can’t get the right words out,
Been trying to so long that I forgot what I believe,
The longer I go without it the more it brings me down,
The feeling that I’ve lost all that I’m made of,
What if I can’t get it back?
From deep inside and through your eyes it is incredible,
To feel it coming!
The dwelling doubt subsides and all is calm,
But still the pages long for more,
Tell me I don’t stand a chance in vein,
To believe all I’ve witnessed every killing breath,
Until we love ourselves,
Only then will this story be fit to tell,
Cause if in awe we cant portray its rightful meaning we will stay,
Of war and peace,
The light of one warm embrace,
Don’t let it become your worst enemy,
Go run and tell of what you’ve seen,
Believe it isn’t right,
Tell me it’s not for real,
Life as we made it…



And don't think I've forgotten. It was on the night of November 20th, 2004, that Kayla lost her life. I'll never forget sitting at my friend Arielle's birthday party with a bunch of friends when a girl in the grade below us broke the news. I still remember every minute as if it was yesterday. I had no idea what to do with myself. I was awarded her music scholarship my senior year of high school and would like to think I've honored it quite well thus far. I was never too into Thursday, but I know it was her favorite band. This is pretty much the only song I ever got into so I'll post it. God this song makes me miss high school so much.

Cold Happens All The Time lyrics

Thursday-War All The Time Video - Cold Happens All The Time Music Videos

Music Videos by VideoCure

Now your eyes are a sign on the edge of town
They offer a welcome, when you are leaving

R.I.P. Kayla.

Looking Back On Life, Does Your Past Still Keep You Up At Night?

In ways you could have predicted this post coming with the high level of bitching I do about my theory and musicianship teacher. Last week in class, I was giving my percussionist friend a hard time because he was struggling with sight reading rhythms. My friend Ari in front of me overheard and says, "Ya know, it's great to have Raz because he makes you want to do better cause you know if you don't he'll give you crap about it" out loud to the class. My teacher then responds in a light hearted way saying "Yeah well he's just a son of a bitch like that." Sarcastic words were exchanged between me and him. But after Friday, I knew that I wanted to email him and tell him 100% how I felt because while I don't want to like him, I knew I had to change my work ethic because I was missing class and hardly doing my work just to spite him(productive, huh?). Well Monday comes along and I have a note in my box saying I will be kicked out of class if I continue my attitude. So because I can't see him Tuesdays and I had my Unit Exam on Wednesday, I decided to email him. I expressed how I don't respect him as a teacher or person but that I would change my work ethic to get my grade up. That's youth?


Usually before I leave to school or out or just anywhere I put my ihome on shuffle so that when I get back, hopefully a really kick ass song will be playing and it'll make me happy. Today before I left school to go practice, I put it on shuffle and Yellowcard's "Starstruck" came on. DANG. 2003! It gave me such a huge rush of freshman year of high school. I was so heavily into pop punk back in those days. I still do listen to pop punk these days but it's a bit different then than it is now. Remember Much The Same? Such a solid melodic punk band that ruled my senior year of high school. Well they broke up that year actually and the drummer plus a member of Break The Silence and a member of Counterpunch formed a band called Unit 91. They just released an EP. By no means is it original but it just really clicks with me. I listened to a few songs back in summer of 2008 when I went to Colorado so there are some fantastic memories attatched to it. Wow what an amazing trip Colorado was. It reminds me so much of pop punk in the early 00's and I think the reason I like it so much may be because it makes me feel 13/14 years old again.

I just recently posted on how I was actually content with my guitar playing. That has completely gone to hell. There have been times this past week where I have serious doubts about myself. My doubts were so high that I've hardly been practicing. It's just frustrating to go into your lessons and get reminded(not verbally) on how undeveloped you are and just how...not good you really are. Larry has never said anything close to that but some of things he says just blow my mind and certain techniques are extremely hard. No one understands just how hard it is to excel in your instrument or just to comprehend music. Getting to that next level is such a mind fuck and you really just have no idea how to handle it except question yourself. Never have I been challenged like this. It's only been 3 months. It's hard to put into words just what exactly is going through my head. But more than ever, music IS my life. Today I decided to turn everything around and got in a really good amount of practice. In order to get a nice 5 hour practice session going, I switched practice locations around the school every hour. The best was the last one where I around 5:30pm when the sun was setting and I was sitting in the practice room facing the window. San Francisco has such great weather. Every day is 60's and every night is 50's. I bitch about wanting diversity but I know I'm going to miss it when I get back home to Texas.

I almost got jumped the other week when walking by myself. I had a insane adventure on Halloween night in the city of San Francisco. I was in a cab home with some friends talking the cab driver about football and once he found out I was from South Texas he swirved to the curb and told me to get the fuck out of his car. He said it with a straight face but then laughed and said he was joking. I've probably said this a few times, but nights out here are so much different than nights out in Corpus. You just NEVER know what's going to happen. God I'm so fucking glad I got out of that city. Love it, but couldn't stand another month in it. One of my really good girl friends moved to LA so hopefully she'll be here to visit soon. Living on my own has made me get tons of great ideas on how to save money and conserve food or dishes. I'm getting really good at ping pong. I drink an amazing amount of water these days. I also drink Budweiser and Pabst Blue Ribbon pretty much exclusively these days. While I have my mental struggles, life is just absolutely amazing and there's no school I'd rather be at. Didn't I mention something about a kick ass melodic punk band? Ok this is probably the most awkward video I post. I debated about posting it but it's the only one that has the album version of my favorite song off the album. Warning: CHEESY lyrics.


Much The Same-What I Know

And I hate the thought of who I am without you
And someday I'll learn to get by on my own
I became a better man around you
And that's one thing you should know
'Cause I know